Saturday, September 26, 2009

Here's the Story, Morning Glory

12 years ago we opened our doors and our hearts to a pink little bundle of joy. We had made the decision to be foster parents and had high hopes of adopting a baby one day. Jim came home from work and told me that he had gotten a call that day from our caseworker, and she had four children that she needed to place. I immediately told him that we could not take four children...we didn't have the room for them, and we were not licensed to take four anyway. He laughed and said that she only wanted us to take one of the four, a baby girl who was 3 weeks old. She was currently in a short term foster home, and we needed to call the foster mom and make the arrangements to go get her. Jim gave me the number and I secretly called the foster mom to make the arrangements. I told Jim I was going to the store, and when I came home I asked  him to help me bring in the groceries. Instead of groceries, he found a soft, pink, adorable little baby girl in the back seat of the car.

This little one healed my broken heart. After many miscarriages, she had come to do what I was not able to do for myself. I felt strongly that she was to be apart of our eternal family. The caseworkers kept reminding me that she was going to be going to a relative in Idaho and to not get too attached. (Right, like you can really do that) I will spare you the details, but it was the roller coaster ride of our lives as the judges, caseworkers, attorneys, foster parents, and birth parents all tired to determine what was best for this little one. My faith was tested time and time again. When I lost all faith, there was only HOPE to get me through the stressful times. When she was 11 months old, we dropped her off along with our hearts for a trial placement with her birth family. All four children were sent back to the birthparents to see if they could parent their children. I have never felt such a loss as I did at that time. We grieved for our baby girl. We were devastated,

Twenty very long days past, and we received a phone call from her caseworker. They were removing the children; did we want the baby back?? Did she even need to ask? A year and 3 months went by that were followed by many more ups and downs. Until the judge had made his ruling. Parental Rights have been terminated. We were free to adopt this little angel, and have her sealed to us FOREVER
And we all lived happily ever after...right?

Tori's birth parents started contacting her older birth sister when she was about 15. They would come to her school and take her to lunch; they bought her a cell phone and told her to call them anytime. She became a very confused and mixed up girl. They started tell her lies about the reasons she was adopted, that they didn't do anything wrong. She believed them, and ran away. She ran to them, the police returned her, she was unhappy and made everyone around her miserable. She ran again a year or so later. They didn't stop her, she was close to 18 and she made the choice to go back with the birthparents. It broke the hearts of her adoptive family. She has made a lot of bad choices, her morals and values went by the wayside.

Last week this birth sister contacted us. By email, and then again by a message on facebook...the message listed our address and asked if that address popped out at us.

My heart was icy cold with fear. Would they ever try to illegally come and take my daughter? Why was she contacting us? Had the birthparents put her up to this? I could not bear that thought of loosing my daughter again. I know my heart would not be able to handle that kind of pain.

I don't believe that they know about my blog, but I couldn't take any chances...So, we have taken all kind of precautions to keep her safe, and having my blog private is one of the changes we have made.

When we moved to Arizona 4 years ago, we weren't sure why we were lead here. But as time goes by we have seen the Lords hand in this decision to move here. As much as I complain about the never ending summers with crazy hot temperatures, today I am grateful for the distance.


Jenny said...

OH! Jane... what a tender story. God does watch over us. You made a good decision to go private. {Hugs}

Cheela said...

Thank you for sharing this with me, Jane. I love being a part of your blog and your family!

Becca said...

WOW...I would have done the same thing....We love that litte girl too!!!

Becky said...

Wow! What a rollercoaster. I was wondering why you went private. Thank you for sharing this with us. We will keep your family in our prayers. xoxo

Jessica said...

Wow, I had never heard the whole story and can't imagine how hard this must be! Your sweet girl is such an integral part of the family and I love her tons! Hugs to the family and know that you're in our prayers!

Meags said...

Jane and your wonderful family. I love you all and God will continue to treasure and protect your family. You are an incredible witness for all.

Sabra said...

Totally praying for you guys now, Jane. How very stressfull, and after all this time? I've watched (and continue) my sister and BIL go through the ringer with the foster-adoption process. You're amazing people to fight so hard for these children.